Two weeks ago I was more determined than ever that my latest attempt at overhauling my health and fitness was going to last. This is the longest I’ve ever stuck to a serious exercise regime. It’s the fittest I’ve ever felt. It’s also the longest my various health problems have gone into some sort of remission, which has let me get to this point.
It’s just amazing how quickly it can feel like it’s slipping away. I see so many public announcements of lifestyle changes. Declarations on Facebook, Twitter, Instagram and in blogs from people who swear that this time, it’s going to last. They’re going to succeed. This time it’s for real and by posting it online it makes it official. Often though it doesn’t last, the attemp fails and the cycle is repeated few months later. I’ve been that person so many times.
For the past couple of weeks I haven’t been able to stick to my preferred exercise/diet regime because I hurt my hip and I’ve been much busier than usual. I’ve still been able to fit some quick exercise in but it’s not been at the pace of the past five months. It’s made me so behind, so fast.
It’s only two weeks. Two weeks doesn’t sound that long when you’re looking at the bigger picture, but this is where I fail. In fact, this is where we fail. We fall down because it’s hard to bounce back when you have a little break right?Motivation starts to wane and all the inspiration you felt just days before isn’t there anymore. It’s amazing (and bloody annoying) how quick and easy it is to slip into old habits.
The last two weeks have brought it home to me how much you need to want to change. You can’t want it a little bit. You can’t want it in waves. You have to want it to the point where there’s no alternative. I thought I’d always wanted it enough but clearly I haven’t, because I’ve never succeeded long term and now that bugs the life out of me. Why can’t I just do it?
This irritation at myself has been stronger than ever and it’s driven me to this current attemp at reaching my goals.
I want to be physically fit- like really fit. I want it for the good of my weak body, my joints that struggle badly for my age and I want it to feel and look good. There’s no point denying the body image part- I want a flat muscly stomach, toned legs and arms and I want to feel really well and strong. I’ve wanted all of this for a long time but all the years of yearning and faddy attempts haven’t amounted to a real changes until now.
I haven’t totally turned my life around and I’m vets inky not sporting a six pack, but I’ve never lasted this long or made this much progress- hence the frustration at feeling like I’ve taken a step back.
I’m not going to let the past two weeks lead me down the road to failure. I refuse to lose the progress running my first 10k has made. I can’t deal with starting again, after more than five months of trying so hard, sweating so much, sacrificing so much time and overcoming many mental blocks and health barriers.
I want this change to last. I want it to stay and to improve my life and give me the satisfaction that I’ve finally done it. It’s just taken so long to realise how much you’ve really got to want a lifestyle change to make it come about.
Any inspiration to get me through the rest of this wobble and to keep me motivated is welcome. As are puppies, if you can arrange it.