If I could get my hands on Hermione Granger’s Time Turner I sure as hell wouldn’t use it to do coursework or attend Ancient Runes. I’d use it to make time for all the people in my life I don’t see enough of, and probably to do some voluntary dog walking because, well, dogs.
I used to have this massive circle of friends who I’d see all the time on rotation and have endless plans with. These days I see those most convenient geography wise and those who invite me to things way in advance, and while that sounds like I’m a terrible friend, I promise I’m not. Time is such a strange thing, I felt like my life as a recent graduate went quite slowly, still living much like a student, still arranging big nights out and mid-week dinners, still going for a drink on a Tuesday night to fill each other in on the past two days where you were busy working and adulting.
But actually, it went so fast I feel like I missed it. Then the next couple of years of care-free travel and getting real jobs flew past. Now I’m 26 and I can’t quite believe it. The one thing that’s really changed, above all the moving, earning, career-paths and life goals, is the dynamics of my friendships.
Friends I thought I’d never ever go more than two weeks without speaking to now only feature in my life a handful of times a year. I have friends I only see at Christmas. I have friends who I only message and never see full stop. Friend guilt is definitely real and made much worse when people don’t let you forget the very undeliberate distance or the months of minimal contact, even when the door swings both ways.
I’m grateful for low maintenance friends so much. I’m grateful to be able to retain people in my life without solid plans to see them often or long conversations every week. If they didn’t exist, I think adult life would force us all to have much fewer friends. “I have to go to a pub lunch and catch up with people” is most likely not a good enough excuse for a sick day. If only.
There’s definitely a big difference between being low maintanence and being a bad friend, and I couldn’t be more happy that I have a few of the former. Oh and massive thanks to WhatsApp for making friendship about a million times easier all round.