I’m raising both of mine. If I had more hands I would raise them. I’ll even raise my feet.
For as long as I can remember I’ve felt like my health was a joke. Like someone out there was pushing buttons to make things worse for me. Maybe it’s a punishment. Maybe I’m just unlucky. Maybe I’m weak. Maybe I just need to man up and deal with it. Whatever it is though, it’s made my life unpleasant at quite frequent intervals. Having a chronic illness doesn’t help and I have to accept I’ll always feel a bit ropey, but even colds are out to get me.
I eat well these days, I don’t drink that much, I exercise, wash my hands like we’re told to, use hand sanitizer on the tube…I do everything I can yet the germs can’t stay away. Basically, my milkshake brings all the germs to the yard and they’re like YAY PERFECT HOST BODY GIVE HER HELL.
I’ve spent the last week trying and so far failing to fight off a really nasty cold with a killer sore throat. It’s still not gone. On top of that I’ve got joint pain, really bad fatigue, I’ve been limping, keep having nosebleeds and just before I got ill I had a mystery rash all over my arms. Just a standard week in my life.
Well I’m bloody sick of it. I mean I’m seriously done. I want better health. I’m sick of feeling sick. I’m sick of being thought of as a ‘sick note’ and I’m bored of my health bulldozing it’s way through all the fun and good in life.
If you feel like you’ve had a raw deal of it with your health then you’ll know how I’m feeling. It’s draining and tiring and unfair and makes me feel so angry.
I’m determined that this year (once I’m over this gross virus obvs) I’m going to make positive changes. I can’t keep a mindset where I let the bastard keep me down. Health is so important and I feel like I do enough but I’ll do more. I’ll do basically anything to make it better.
Chronic illness and all the other stuff in between, this is NOT your year. It’s mine. It’s March now. You’ve had your fun. You’ve done enough damage and now it’s spring and it’s getting lighter and warmer and nice things are on the horizon I’d like to ask you to F off.
I’m going to get you health. You will be mine.
If you’re out there feeling like your poor health is crushing your soul and leaving you depressed, I feel you. I feel you so much. If extreme positive thinking and positive changes make a difference that’s big enough to measure I’ll let you know.