If your health is bringing you down…

  
Raise your hand if you’ve ever felt personally victimised by you’re own health. 

I’m raising both of mine. If I had more hands I would raise them. I’ll even raise my feet. 

 For as long as I can remember I’ve felt like my health was a joke. Like someone out there was pushing buttons to make things worse for me. Maybe it’s a punishment. Maybe I’m just unlucky. Maybe I’m weak. Maybe I just need to man up and deal with it. Whatever it is though, it’s made my life unpleasant at quite frequent intervals. Having a chronic illness doesn’t help and I have to accept I’ll always feel a bit ropey, but even colds are out to get me. 

I eat well these days, I don’t drink that much, I exercise, wash my hands like we’re told to, use hand sanitizer on the tube…I do everything I can yet the germs can’t stay away. Basically, my milkshake brings all the germs to the yard and they’re like YAY PERFECT HOST BODY GIVE HER HELL. 

I’ve spent the last week trying and so far failing to fight off a really nasty cold with a killer sore throat. It’s still not gone. On top of that I’ve got joint pain, really bad fatigue, I’ve been limping, keep having nosebleeds and just before I got ill I had a mystery rash all over my arms. Just a standard week in my life. 

Well I’m bloody sick of it. I mean I’m seriously done. I want better health. I’m sick of feeling sick. I’m sick of being thought of as a ‘sick note’ and I’m bored of my health bulldozing it’s way through all the fun and good in life. 

If you feel like you’ve had a raw deal of it with your health then you’ll know how I’m feeling. It’s draining and tiring and unfair and makes me feel so angry. 

I’m determined that this year (once I’m over this gross virus obvs) I’m going to make positive changes. I can’t keep a mindset where I let the bastard keep me down. Health is so important and I feel like I do enough but I’ll do more. I’ll do basically anything to make it better. 

Chronic illness and all the other stuff in between, this is NOT your year. It’s mine. It’s March now. You’ve had your fun. You’ve done enough damage and now it’s spring and it’s getting lighter and warmer and nice things are on the horizon I’d like to ask you to F off. 

I’m going to get you health. You will be mine. 

If you’re out there feeling like your poor health is crushing your soul and leaving you depressed, I feel you. I feel you so much. If extreme positive thinking and positive changes make a difference that’s big enough to measure I’ll let you know. 

10 thoughts on “If your health is bringing you down…

  1. I started my year with lots of issues, I have weak knees and I’ve been getting joint aches and leg pains since I was a toddler. So I know chronic pain well, some weeks there’s nothing at all and others I’m so sore I feel like an old, fragile bird, and I hate it. This year I also made a huge mindset move to break the hell out of this pain bubble and I researched and started taking all the right vitamins. Religiously. And so far maybe I get a pain a week. I think the positive mindset and fact that we know we are doing something about it too helps in some way, i don’t know exactly how, but it has for me. So good luck!

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  2. Ah Lauren I’m so with you on this! I’ve been ill since October, I had a virus which landed me in hospital with tachycardia and numb / tingling feet, and ever since then I’ve just had numerous post viral symptoms and infections and I just can’t get better / get my strength back. I really thought going into the new year it was going to be a fresh start and I’d start improving but nope!! On top of that its having such a bad impact on my mental health too. So I totally understand that feeling about being personally victimised by your own health, it feels at times like my body is just falling apart & it’s so hard to know how to fix it!

    I really hope that the rest of 2016 is good for you & thank you for this post! Xx

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    • Sounds horrible!! I hope stuff gets better fast for you or at least you get some decent medical help. I love the NHS and what it stands for but I’ve had such poor offerings from it for my health. 2016 needs to be a better health year! x

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  3. Here here! I started developing health problems over a year ago and I’m still waiting for a diagnosis. It seems to just be about taking it day by day, allowing some time to feel sorry for yourself, but not letting it take over your life! I find having understanding family and friends helps so much too, they know when I can’t walk much or when I just want to curl up in bed forever!

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    • Yeah day by day is the only way to deal with these things. I’ve had very little luck with getting anything that even resembles decent healthcare or a longterm plan. I’m basically my own doctor these days! I hope things get easier for you. There’s a really good online spoonie community on Twitter. Look it up! x

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