This weekend just gone involved a neon takeaway, a lot of wine, getting horribly lost in Essex, an over excited dog, two cats, many wines, catch ups, a service station and delirious laughter at road names. It also involved two people I need in my life more.
You see your friends as much as you can but adulthood gets in the way. Work gets in the way. Tired gets in the way. So you make less plans, see less people and you’re next available weekend is 6 weeks away. “Let me just check with my secretary. Aren’t we total adult babes with so much going on?!” Everyones secretary is their iPhone calendar right?
Being actually booked out is kinda scary, but it happens to the best of us. Oh and people move. That amazing feeling you have at uni where everyone is in the same town together and you can crawl hungover up the road to a house full of friends and crisps is gone. People start branching out and it becomes road trips, train tickets or even plane journeys to get a good old dose of catch up.
But it’s not all bad. In fact having a weekend with friends you don’t get to see much means you have so much to say you just go all in. I left this weekend in Ipswich catching up with two good friends feeling like I got a lot off my chest. I didn’t confess to anything, tell them big news or let them in on any secrets. We just talked about life and what’s been happening and our worries about the future and what we want to do in the next few years. And like, everyone we know obviously.
There’s few things as comforting in life when you’re mid-twenties than being reassured you’re not behind the game, you don’t have abnormal fears and you aren’t the only person out there going through a rough patch. Oh and that it’s fine you aren’t a self made millionaire with a property portfolio. Good detail.
I might not be in the same circumstances as my friends, we might not be working towards the same goals, but it’s nice to realise you aren’t failing. It’s nice to know not everyone is totally set and has their whole life wrapped up and sorted with a big bow on top and a sprinkling of glitter.
I mean, thank God.
Deep down I probably know that most people my age aren’t in a position of total certainty, having achieved all their hopes and dreams as well owning a chocolate lab and a massive house. I also know it’s totally common and normal to feel like you’re behind everyone and missing out on something. I read it pretty much daily scrolling through Twitter and on sites like this one.
It’s a rough ride mentally because you keep coming back to it, so an 18 hour catch up with friends, blurting out all sorts of stories and woes and life lessons, is just what the doctor ordered.
I for one, know I shouldn’t need reassurance from other people that I’m doing just fine and not having everything totally sorted is perfectly acceptable, but that doesn’t mean I won’t keep seeking it.