1. Not having perfect skin. Everything was supposed to clear up by your 21st birthday but instead of looking like a foundation TV advert, you’re still battling the occasional outbreak and slapping endless concealer on little red face mountains before nights out. Beautiful.
2. Being tired. Like, all the time.
3. Getting really excited about staying in. Cocktails, club nights, gigs, dinners, trips to the theatre and after work pub sessions? Erm, no thanks. I’d rather put on my fluffiest pyjamas and lay down all evening while I slowly eat a block of cheese and remain quite still.
4. Not having enough money to dress exclusively in TopShop. Wasn’t it so sad when you realised how expensive life actually is?
5. Rolling into work covered in dry shampoo and carrying a healthy, balanced lunch in a plastic bag, rather than strutting into the office with a fresh blowdry and a frothy latte. Everything you thought about shiny, pristine, career you was wrong. Very wrong.
6. The lack of 4 bedroom house, husband, well behaved children, cute dog and brand new car. Remember being a teenager and thinking that was how it would work? Lol.
7. Your immense love for comfy, warm, practical clothes, because when it’s cold and you have a long day ahead of you there’s just no time for exposed skin or pretty shoes.
8. The eternal battle to empty the washing basket. If only someone prepared 16 year old you for this barrel of laughs.
9. Having to pay for things that don’t equate to fun.
10. How much of a big role candles would play in your life.
11. The impracticality and impossibility to own 5 puppies.
12. Wanting to travel to places based on their culture and museums rather than beach quality and nightlife.
13. The fact that food always runs out, always needs to be replaced and always costs money.
14. How proud and happy and relaxed you can feel after a productive cleaning session. YAY BLEACH.
15. How differently you’d start to look at friends. Less BFFL, more ‘can I RELY on you though pal?’
16. How quickly being in charge of your food and household shopping would become old. Can some sort of fairy please stock my cupboards with sensible things while I’m out? Please?
17. Cushions. Throws. Prints. Everywhere.
18. A passport costs HOW much?
19. The realisation that it’s unlikely you’ll have a hot tub in your penthouse even in a dream, let alone real life.
20. The Sims did not properly prepare you for how to seriously deal with household disasters like leaks and floods.
21. The sudden ability any kind of container has to be a vase once you hit peak adulthood.