Overheard on the tube posts are always well received but now I mostly get trains where people are a lot more silent and stern looking. I haven’t been on enough tubes to eavesdrop on some classic London one liners this year yet, and my move to trains mean I’m not on the District line silently weeping (thank God). Doesn’t mean I haven’t seen some seriously odd sights. 2016 has proved pretty good so far for people behaving wonderfully in public.
1) A man practicing ballroom dancing steps in a packed Waterloo Station while train delay carnage unfolded around him.
2) Three boys aged probably around 19/20 playing with a cardboard box in Southwark at lunchtime and one referring to their playtime as ‘sick’. Soggy cardboard, who knew.
3) Woman at Wimbledon station “I shut my eyes on the toilet everyday at least twice.”
4) Girl projectile vomits on herself twice on the Northern Line (intoxicated). Boyfriend just happens to have sandwich bag in his back pockets and begins picking up lumps of vomit. Girl cries.
5) Two very small, excited Japanese tourists chasing pigeons on The Cut in Waterloo.
6) Two really drunk men having a sword fight with baguettes while shouting ‘GOT YOUR NUMBER’ at passers by in Westminster.
7) A small child reciting his entire Christmas nativity play to a train carriage at Clapham Junction and asking people to clap at appropriate times.
8) A woman wearing earring that are actually small forks. Fashion.
9) A man and a woman calmly telling their dog that a red light means stop in London Bridge.
10) A man wearing only bin liners getting off a tube in Bermondsey with his friends who are wearing normal clothes but chanting ‘ACES ACES ACES’ at each other.
Standard London really.