I was stood in Waterloo station on Friday night, quite tipsy, in a Christmas jumper, watching festive drunken high jinx unfold. It was pretty late, last trains were leaving, people were doing drunk running, McDonald’s was packed and I heard a man asking staff in M&S if they could bake several pots of pasta into a bake for him. What a hero. While I stood against a wall waiting for my boyfriend to meet me I spent ten minutes having a right lol to myself over the ridiculousness of the intoxicated British public. I know binge drinking gives us a bad rep but it was so happy and smiley and littered with awful yet amazing knitwear in that I kinda had to accept how much I love Christmas nights out. I’m now on the sofa after a fourth day of festive wine and eating wondering if I can open another box of chocolates and reflecting on all of these:
1) Tinsel as accessorises. YAY put tinsel in our hair. YAY wear tinsel as a scarf. YAY wrap ourselves in tinsel. YAY get home drunk and wrap the cat in tinsel.
2) Watching drunk people sway around bars in paper Christmas crowns, Santa hats and novelty Christmas glasses. Also a big fan of men drinking manly pints while wearing casual reindeer antlers. Bless them.
3) Mariah Carey- All I want for Christmas coming on in a club and uniting everyone in a massive erratic, drunken, jumpy, group kareoeke. You can also be 98% sure strangers will hug before the song ends.
4) Hangover food goes up ten notches. Breadsticks for example- simple yet effective and much more likely to be in the house at Christmas. Also- mince pies. Just mince pies from the moment you wake up feeling awful to the moment you crawl back into bed in your seasonal Primark PJs.
5) Making time to see ALL your friends and just spending £40 on shots because screw it. It’s bloody Christmas.
6) Doing secret Santa exchanges and buying the most inappropriate, probably fairly rude present you can get on Amazon but not caring because you know you’ll be drunk in an hour and they’ll blatantly leave it in the pub anyway.
7) Watching random office Christmas parties while you’re out and about and counting how many situations will definitely result in resignation/regret.
8) Drinking ANYTHING mulled you can get your hands on.
9) Spying people fast asleep after one too many on the late train home in a reindeer jumper and a bag of wrapping paper (And hopefully some fast food wrappers if they’ve done things right.)
10) Going through your Instagram in a bit of a drunken haze on the way home and getting enraged at how many times you see ‘Christmas drinks with this one’ captions.
11) Going for festive meet ups amd always stopping all conversation/eating/ activities to form a circle and sing whenever a Christmas song is played.
12) Doing the ‘I will definitely behave at the work Christmas party this year’ speech but then waking up with a drill in your skull and vague memories of subway and doing tequila with your boss.
13) Sending drunken, heartfelt Christmas texts to people you’ve not seen in 7 months. Festive feelings be real.
14) Having maximum enthusiasm for buying alcohol from wooden sheds at extortionate prices and eating churros in the cold.