I’ve always had, shall we say, sleep issues. When I was little and shared a room with my sister she once woke up and found me holding a doll’s head and repeatedly banging it against a wall, totally deadpan, in my sleep. Yep. I am my own horror film.
Basically I’ve always been a sleep walker, had very vivid dreams, had a childhood recurring nightmare(a man who shot pigeons out of a gun and kidnapped my mum- terrifying) and have recently taken to sleep talking. Some of my lines from the last few months have included “Oh I’m covered in coffee”, “There’s a green plant in the bed” and “You should put that back really.” My boyfriend is a lucky man. I also do a lot of thrashing around and jumping out of bed on account of seeing ‘insects’ and other such things. I mean, at least I’m not boring.
2015 has been a weird year. I don’t know exactly why or what it is but I just feel like it’s been a bit of strange one and my dreams reflect that. These are three of my faves that I actually remember. There’s nothing worse than waking up from a good dream but then literally feel it leaking out of your head so you can’t recount it to anyone at work over your morning brew.
Dream 1- The boat in Cornwall
I don’t think I’ll ever get over or forget this dream. It was one of those ones that just happens while you’re snoozing your alarm in the morning and feels days long but in reality lasts about 45 seconds. I was on a massive wooden pirate ship (skull flag and all), with some uni friends, sailing clean through the streets of Newquay. It was kind of like a pirate ship car casually squeezing through the tiny little seaside steets and we were all wearing bandanas (in a serious, absolutely genuine way) and shouting about how late we were, while simultaneously batting away giant birds that were trying to eat the sails. Totally normal. We also stopped to buy ‘ I LOVE NEQUAY’ hoodies. Lads on tour. Our trusty ship then got stuck rounding a corner (massive shock) and we had to get out and pull it, but unfortunately it suddenly turned to night time and we had no torches. Hate it when that happens.
Dream 2- The drugs bust
I watched a TV documentary about drugs in south America in September and then I went to bed and obviously dreamt I was a smuggler and was storing drugs of no name or description under the bed in my Fulham flat (disclaimer- I absolutely was not). My hiding place of choice was in a black New Look clutch bag, in my plastic box of handbags, because where else would you store your illegal goods? I think part of the dream escaped my memory because I went from clutch bag stashing to suddenly coming home and having to hide in the airing cupboard because my landlord was in my room with several large dogs and men in suits. BUSTED. Then I went on the run and drove around London for a few days. Then I was back in the flat and put the clutch bag in the recycling and took the recycling outside. Moral of the dream- I’d be a bad criminal/drug dealer/gangster.
Dream 3- Sri Lankan night out
I would like to dream about Sri Lanka every night. It’s a dream come true of an island, and nothing like this remotely happened when I was there (sadly), so WHO EVEN KNOWS where this came from. I basically dreamt that I was half way through trekking up some sort of jungle hill (which did happen when I was there) when someone started blowing bubbles at me, so I walked over, had a little investigation and ended up in a sort of 80s dance rave, but only drinking tea. I then left and was no longer in the jungle but a really busy town and couldn’t find anywhere to buy a new bag that I needed for work. Standard. Asian jungle work bag shopping in a pop-up city post-sober rave. Life.
I love dreams.