If you’re the sort of person who achieves things, overcomes things and conquers challenges but then immediately wonders ‘but what next’, we are alike. I never feel like I’ve done good enough. I know I might not have done too badly at all, but I always think there’s a bigger achievement or a more satisfying reward somewhere out there. And I just have to have it. It can be an amazing trait, because you don’t need much of a push to be a go-getter, but on the other hand, it can bring problems. These are my main issues with this whole ‘never enough, can do better’ mindset:
1) Your best starts to mean less.
It’s hard to congratulate yourself when you do amazingly well and still feel like you missed something, or focus on the what ifs and missed opportunities. There might be a completely perfect outcome to something, but you wonder about a more perfect situation, and then you aren’t satisfied. Your best effort should make you content, but it does the opposite.
2) You probably have unrealistic goals.
I’m a person with a plan for just about everything. I like setting goals and I like working towards something, but when you do great things and pass big milestones but don’t see it for yourself, your goals become unreachable. You can end up setting yourself up for a loss, which hurts even more.
3) It’s exhausting.
Constantly questioning how to better, further and improve is tiring. It’s so, so tiring. Sometimes it’s a good kind of tiring, but a lot of the time it’s just full on brain fatigue.
4) You start to feel greedy
This is definitely something I worry about. I have more than enough and more than I used to think I would have at this stage in my life, but because of my ‘I can do better’ mindset, I feel like I’m greedy, because what more do I need to feel happy? I have more than a lot of others, but I just want EVEN more on top of that.
5) It can get in the way of happiness
To feel content is so relaxing and peaceful, but it can be a feeling that comes around a lot less when you’re trying to achieve more all the time. It’s hard to feel really happy when you never let yourself reflect on how well you’ve done, or how much of a good job you’re continually doing.
On the flip side of all of these points, being motivated and hungry for success is a great thing too, because it gets you places. Just maybe not in the most peaceful way. I like the way I am and I wouldn’t really want to change it, but I do wonder if they’ll ever come a time I can sit back and say to myself ‘well done me, I did good.’
I also think…would I have come this far if I wasn’t this way inclined? Probably not.
Swings and round-a-bouts I guess.