There’s a lot I could sit and drone about when it comes to adulthood. A lot of it would bore people instantly to tears, but there are some things that I know I’m not alone in pondering. I think pondering is a really underused work. That’s my adult thought for the day. I’m done. (I wish).
One of these things, something I have recently been having fun and games with, is taking the plunge on big, grown up decisions. I’m not sure if you start to feel more responsible and like a ‘real adult’ the older you get, (I hope not, I don’t want to ever stop associating gin with dancing on tables or Harry potter as the Holy Grail) but most of the time I generally feel like a ridiculous teenager flouncing around in a life I haven’t quite accepted. I’m fine with that. Totally fine. Making big choices though, you know the kind that actually have a real impact on your future and involve stuff like finance (I still can’t use a scientific calculator), is something you have to put on your ‘responsible, mature person’ act for and face head on.
I do wish I had some kind of advice fairy I could get out from under the bed and ask wordly questions too about what I should do when it comes to deciding on big things, but this isn’t a weird Pixar film, so. yeah. No fairy.
We recently made (then unmade, then postponed) the decision to move home, regroup, save some money and then find a hew home. Moving out of somewhere where you have a good rent deal, lived for a long time, have all the convenience and friends at hand whenever you need or want them, is not an easy choice to make. But then if we don’t, we’ll never have quite enough savings to do what we want to do. Not for a fairly long time anyway.
It feels like a step back, but actually it’s a step back to take a massive step forward. It’s something that will hopefully set us up massively for the next few years and give us a foundation to go on and be EVEN more grown up and adult-like. We have tiptoed around the subject, put the date back. dreaded it, looked forward to it, regretted it, I’ve even dreamt about it. For a while I just kept thinking stuff like ‘I’ll win the lottery, so it’s fine’ or ‘maybe I’ll just go back to Sri Lanka, FOREVER.’
Both would be wonderful, but neither are realistic. I wish I was one of those people who can sit down, go through options and make an educated choice in one swift, slick move. But I can’t. I can’t even readily decide between crunchy or smooth peanut butter lately. The struggle is real. But it’s done. Date set. No going back.
Finally deciding on something big is a massive relief. It might not be easy, but if you know it’s worthwhile for future you, do it. That’s the marker I’m going to set for the foreseeable future of ‘deciding things.’