So I’m writing this in the wake of a terrible night out in London while my friend writes a lengthy, formal complaint email, which is a definite sign we are firmly not teens/students/care free youths any more. I don’t think 25 is too old to be going out out, but I feel like it’s becoming more and more evident that clubs need to become a thing of my past. I’m not sure if it’s because I just can’t hack it, my tolerance of other people has become dangerously low in my mid-twenties or if this is just a normal transition. Probably a mixture of the three. Don’t get me wrong though, with the right company, the correct amount of gin and music from the early noughties, I’m as game as anyone.
I just feel lately like a good bar with comfortable chairs, or staying at home with an abundance of wine is my preferable socialising option. An abundance of wine and a nine course meal, to be exact. Anyway, these are my main reasons for wanting to steer clear of clubs and going out out for a while, maybe forever. (never gonna happen though, I’m not THAT boring.)
1) I tolerate drunk people less and less every day.
I used to find it hilarious to watch friends or strangers fall all over the place blind drunk, generally making massive dicks of themselves, but now, I just want them all to get in the sea. I mean it’s totally different if you’re drunk too, because then you are part of the fun and games, but being an observer of such behaviour now just makes me angry. It makes me tired. And it probably makes me hungry if I’m being totally honest.
2) Horrendous door staff.
This has been a theme of my life lately. Encountering bouncers who think they are actually working on an FBI mission rather than a club entrance make me want to sit down and start debating, rather than just pretend to be sober and let them act like a supreme power. This is also due to another kind of lack of tolerance- tolerance for utter dickheads. Security is important, but there’s no need to be an absolute twat about it.
3) I don’t like plans.
So this isn’t specifically about going out out at all, but being an adult is bloody tiring isn’t it!? I much prefer weekends when I don’t have set plans, and things just happen. I also much prefer impromptu nights outs rather than planned, regimented events because the older I get, the worse they always are. Sleep is bae.
4) When I see my friends, I like to be able to hear them
Since working gets in the way of most days and selfishly takes up a lot of time in general, seeing friends is hard. It’s even harder when you factor in responsibilities and adult things people need to find the time to do, along with relationships and families. When I do get the time to see my friends, I now prefer to be able to sit and talk to them and actually catch up, rather than necking tequila and shouting over dance music or squeezing in a quick selfie in a toilet cubicle.
5) Hangovers are HORRIFIC
Life is busy, there’s a lot to do. It’s a bit depressing really, but wasting a whole day laying in bed feeling poisoned and wishing McDonalds was on your lap is just a massive nuisance. They’re also getting worse. So much worse. A few glasses of wine can leave me feeling like someone is putting shelves up inside my skull. I wrote about not being able to hack a hangover a while ago, and since then it’s gotten even more true. Prophylactic paracetamol doesn’t even work these days. HELP ME I AM OLD.