Shall we all just have a little moan about commuting? Yes? Good.

tube_map

Commuting is really, super amazing and fun. Said no one. Ever.

This is a blog post about basically nothing other than my strong feelings towards getting to and from work. I moan a lot about my journey to the office. You might have picked up on my negative feelings (of extreme hatred and venom) towards the tube and my arch nemesis, the district line, if you’ve read this blog before. Don’t get me wrong, when the tube works, and it’s not so packed you have mold yourself to the shape of the door, it’s great. Like, totally efficient and the easiest way to get around London for sure.

However, when it doesn’t work how it should, which is fairly often, I just can’t deal. How does anyone deal? WHY CAN’T LIFE BE ONE GIANT HOLIDAY? I mean, we could arrange some sort of commuter uprising. Of course we won’t. We’ll continue shelling out an obscene amount of money for a sub-standard service and putting up with touching and smelling the breakfast of fellow commuters while apologizing when we accidentally fall into someone or elbow someone square in the face. Sometimes as I squeeze onto a carriage at Fulham Broadway at about 8:10 in the morning, I feel my emotions change from ‘tired and a bit confused?’ to ‘I feel like I could spit fire.’ It’s an emotional rollercoaster.

Some days the extreme anger and injustice turns into hilarity. I love nothing more than a cracking excuse as to why I can’t get where I’m going or why I’m being turfed off of the train at a random stop because the service is terminating for no apparent reason. My favourite one of late was being told the driver had gone missing so the train couldn’t leave the station. Totally reasonable. There’s also a fond place in my heart for the morning the driver announced that the service was terminating for reasons unknown and there may or may not be another tube along shorty. That’s fine babes, I’ll just lay down on the platform and wait for death.

I mean, what is life? My journey to my current job is a good 11 tube stops shorter than my previous but still often takes the same amount of time. It’s so great. The other day I saw a man punch a train because he couldn’t fit on it, and I’m surprised people didn’t clap. I could see a sort of mutual respect from the other commuters as they watched a man assault an inanimate object. This is what London commuting does to you. I could get a bus, but it takes about an hour and a half. I could walk, but it’s bloody far. I could cycle but I have really dodgy hips and bad knees and I’m terrified because LORRIES. The struggle is real.

This morning I watched a man shoot snot out of his nose onto the floor of the carriage I was in. Happy Tuesday. Pass the wine.

6 thoughts on “Shall we all just have a little moan about commuting? Yes? Good.

  1. Commuting is the bane of my life! Driving 160 miles round trip each day is frustrating, exhausting and damn expensive šŸ˜¦ Thank god I love the job!

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  2. hahaha hilarious. I used to have over an hours commute to and from work, 2hr30mins every day! It was horrible! I had some extreme treks home, one night taking me 5hours and another 6.5hours when parts of the M62 were closed because LORRIES FAIL TO AVOID BRIDGES IN HIGH WINDS!! damn them haha! I feel your commuter rage! Also just glad I didn’t need the toilet on those occasions!

    http://www.beaucience.co.uk

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  3. This post cracked me up!!! I used to live in London and am currently living in Dubai and this made me miss tubes haha. Totally get what you mean when you say about the anger turning into hilarity…it’s like a fun game. My favourite experiences include the Circle line aka the line of no information, people who feel the need to empty what smells like a full bottle of aftershave on themselves in the morning and the best excuse as to why the trains are delayed ‘leaves on the track’, closely followed by ‘adverse weather conditions’. This is England. Rain and wind is not adverse, sunshine is.

    Faye x

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    • Oh adverse weather is the best isn’t it?! “It rained last night so we can’t possibly run any trains today.” It is literally a joke. I’ve been to third world countries where the transport system is impeccable! Jealous of Dubai! I might have to swap Fulham Broadway for some sunshine at some point! Xx

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