28 things Londoners just don’t have time for

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1) People who just keep on tapping that oyster card despite the fact it clearly isn’t working. MOVE ALONG.

2) 5 minute waits between tubes. They should arrive every 3 minutes at the most to minimise head-to-armpit touching.

3) Suitcases in rush hour on public transport.

4) The queue that ends in Northern France in all express supermarkets around 12:30pm everyday. Lunchtime in London Bridge Sainsburys? No thanks.

5) Panic about smog. We know, we aren’t blind.

6) People giving out weird things that isn’t free food at tube stations. If it’s edible, gimme, if it’s not DON’T COME NEAR ME.

7) Cafes that don’t accept card payments.

8) The District line. I can’t even.

9) ‘Severe delays through Clapham Junction’

10) People who say ‘Can you move down please, I can see 4 millimeters of space over there.’

11) Pigeons with no fear.

12) Being thrown off a night bus because someone has vomited.

13) Leicester Square on Saturday nights.

14) Being reminded of the house prices and how little financial stability the future holds.

15) Boris Johnson.

16) That emirates Air line thing. What even?

17) People who stop to photograph The Shard in peak times, slap bang in the middle of the pavement. ON AN IPAD.

18) Another block of luxury apartments that normal Londoners can barely afford to walk past.

19) Missing the last tube.

20) The wait for the ‘last tube’ scenario to no longer be a thing.

21) Really sitting down and thinking about the price of travel. Why would you do that to your mental health?

22) The tropical heat of the Central Line.

23) Signal Failure.

24) Paper travel cards.

25) The Thames Clipper.

26) The wait for lifts at Covent Garden tube station.

27) The regret of taking the stairs at Covent Garden tube station.

28) People who dare slag off London despite all of the above. SHUT UP.

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