Sometimes I look at people, either on Facebook, or through visiting, or people I don’t know in the slightest on Bloglovin, and think, WOAH you have seriously got your shit together. I go through some really intense emotions of being insanely jealous of the nice little house and the cute child and the well behaved dog and the effortlessly nice hair that I see before me. I then begin to reassess my own life and think how much I am lacking a dalmatian puppy, glass jars for my cereal, expensive plates and hair that looks like I care about life.
Then most likely I go home or I go out and hilarious stuff happens and I have a weird and wonderful time because I am mostly carefree and don’t have any massive responsibilities and I CAN stay out all night if I want. I CAN run away to a small European country for a few days if I want. I CAN eat crumpets for dinner because I didn’t go food shopping again. Well, it’s bloody grand really.
I like it this way, and because I know I am 25 imminently and I know I have big things coming up and I know I have a few months left before serious saving starts and moving happens and work changes happen, I want to squeeze every drop out of my ‘I have no idea pass the gin’ lifestyle.
Don’t get me wrong, I work and have done well at it and have a totally different head on when I’m office based and on a deadline, so I’m not a total write off or anything.
On my way to office time today, I had a brief daydream on the tube about being back in Croatia (where I was last September) dancing to dodgy reggae music on a small pier while waiting for a taxi boat and feeling slightly hungover from the six wines with dinner the night before. Then a man trod on my foot and it hurt and I realised I was in Central London on my way to work, wearing a scarf and carrying a bag of cheese around with me. Cheese happens. The point is, I often daydream about these lush carefree times, because I have a lot of them, and I really do love it.
Simple reasons to be glad for not quite having my shit together:
– Inviting friends round three weeks in a row for civilized cheese and wine evenings BUT THEN…staying up until 6am drinking multiple wines in multiple colours, putting on a strobe light, listening to the best of Alanis Morrisette and dancing on chairs. Subsequently eating burgers for breakfast on Saturday morning and talking a lot about the best painkillers for headaches.
– Booking a holiday to Sri Lanka because it’s cold outside.
– Strolling along a beach at night, seeing a nice boat, getting in the sea fully clothed to get a closer look at the boat, strolling home soaking wet and dripping on everything/everyone.
Stupid examples maybe, but these things still make me laugh and I realise that I may as well embrace the more hilarious, carefree things in life for now.