In a few weeks I will be 25. Twenty actual five. Sometimes I think about it and it all gets a bit WOAH OMG. But actually, it’s all going to be fine. In fact, I am glad. I feel actually quite together for once in my life (apart from the stomach ache I have from eating too much dominos last night) and it’s mostly down to some serious lessons in life over the last five years.
1) Asking for help is wise, not weak.
2) Culling friends is necessary. Friends are your support system as well drinking partners and everything else you do together. Why have bad ones in your life?
3) Leaving porridge dregs in a bowl all day is a terrible idea unless cleaning a substance similar to concrete is your idea of fun.
4) You get absolutely nothing from wishing you had a life like one you only know from the internet or Instagram stalking. Zero. Nada. Zilch. Not. A. Thing.
5) Getting home safely at night is important (but ubers won’t always cost £7 and you can’t formally complain about them the next day when your bill is £20 for your drunken 2am jaunt across town)
6) Getting cutlery in the washing machine is a steep learning curve every time it happens. These things make us wiser.
7) Harry Potter will never not be relevant.
8) Savings aren’t for more grown up people than you. They are important and everyone should save a little, even if it seems like bugger all at the time.
9) Knowing how to cook more than two meals is a vital skill and will serve you well.
10) Rushing to settle down and get your shit together is not worth the stress and will make you feel defeated and frustrated and pissed off pretty much constantly. And probably give you premature wrinkles.
11) Everything you thought would happen aged 21 probably hasn’t and probably won’t happen quite the way you planned (I still don’t have a puppy) however you will always get hardcore happy over cheap wine. Always.
12) Denial isn’t the answer when bad or scary things happen. Actually dealing with stuff helps. Like, really helps. Just do it.
13) Tea was the answer and remains the answer to most things.
14) Joining a gym just to be a member of the gym and thinking about going to the gym but not going to the gym ever, is the same as chucking some money in a toilet and flushing it away.
15) There really is something to eating healthy. It actually does make you feel good and is like, quite important for your body. Broccoli for life.
16) Skincare and sun cream are really important unless you want to want to look like a prune in 10 short years. Your mum was right.
17) Spots won’t go away in your twenties like magic.
18) Careers are actually hard and getting to the top takes time and probably some ass kissing. Shock horror.
19) Some of your friends will earn more money than you and live in bigger, nicer houses and that is just that.
20) Photoshopped bodies and faces and hair aren’t real and wanting to look like them is the same as wanting to look like a cartoon. (however it’s fine to want to look like the little mermaid when she’s a human though because life and Disney and that hair)
21) When it comes to health, it’s better to actually know and consult a medical professional than cry over Google and diagnose yourself with imminent death.
22) Actually keeping up with what’s going on in the world makes it easier to have conversations with people, makes you sound clever and informed and comes in really bloody handy at pub quizzes.
23) Taking control of your finances when things get out of hand can start with just your banking app and a post-it note. It’s better to know than to pretend you have the bank balance of Simon Cowell and blindly chuck more money at ASOS.
24) Money spent on travel is money well spent indeed.
25) Going to the dentist is better than not going to the dentist. You want to be able to chew your chocolate well into your sixties, right?
And finally, something that struck a chord when I saw it floating around Twitter last year