16 funniest memories from student life: Part 2


I recently went shopping in Asda with a couple of uni friends to buy discount biscuits, jalapenos and mass cakes for a mini-holiday (the essentials) and they were basically playing the soundtrack to my student years. Loads of Rihanna and other such songs from 2010 and The Wanted- Gold forever, which for some unknown and inexplicable reason is basically the song that I associate most with uni despite being by a band I hate. Life.

Anyway, cheers for the emotional influx of memories Asda. Oh and the really nice white choc chip pancakes.

1) Lemon shoulder. The really great game where you take the lemon slice out of your discount vodka and lemonade and place it on someone’s shoulder without them noticing. Extra points if you got a photo of it.

2) Lick a stranger. Clearly a time where health and safety was buried and no one worried about germs. The great game where you lick strangers without them noticing. If they did notice they most likely asked for your number. I hope lick a stranger has led to some marriages.

3) Centurion. The great game where you drink a shot a minute for an hour that everyone hyped up but no one ever finished or really honestly attempted without throwing up out of a window or phoning their ex boyfriend from five years ago to declare undying love.

4) Shop staff love. Corner shops, off licences, convenience stories, whatever you called them. Most people I knew at uni had a serious friendship or weird obsession with staff in their local shop. Particularly shops that sold discount cider and a good selection of Cornettos.

5) The one time that person who usually got reservedly drunk got absolutely wankered and danced and touched people and did all manner of outrageous things in a locked bathroom. (Basically everyone I knew at uni, at some point, was this person)

6) Watching a friend crowd surf off of a fridge before 10pm at a house party.

7) Wildfire rumours (even among lecturers) that one couple in my main friendship group had bought a dining table and put it in storage for the future which freaked everyone else out because it was SO adult… but wasn’t even remotely true anyway.

8) Cutting a night out short because a friend was a stuck in a roadworks hole and while trying to hoist him out, finding two other friends in a JCB near by.

9) A big night following a big work hand-in being followed the next morning with a text from someone saying ‘I have been sick somewhere in the house but I can’t remember where. I am sorry. Really sorry.’

10) Turning up to graduation not really excited about officially having a degree or a huge moment in life, but because the robes made everyone feel like they were in Harry Potter and then being thrilled that someone actually bought a wand with them.

11) A friend accidentally submitting a link to an Akon song on YouTube into the ‘Turn it in’ electronic system instead of their essay. Having to then contact the administrators and explain this error.

12) Watching two friends slowly tare down some curtains in a club then just stand and stare at the bare wall to re-create a scene from Blair Witch Project.

13) Losing one member of the group to a weird and questionable uni society and then finding out the members regularly rent BMWs for one night at a time to drive around town listening to Drake.

14) Treating a powercut as seriously as a war time blitz and texting people to ask if they are okay and do they know is Subway on campus was affected.

15) Going to a friends who had hosted a BBQ the night before and instead of helping to clean up just going through the left over meat and making a feast in the George Foreman grilling machine and then leaving without helping to clean anything because hangover and meat sweats.

16) Eagerly awaiting the first sunny day of the year to descend on the river, sitting there and freezing half to death while having a cider, losing all feeling in limbs and taking loads of photos of swans before deciding fuck this, let’s go to The Mill.

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