I’m slightly concerned about the internet at the moment. By internet, I mean my internet, like stuff I look at (blogs, news Facebook, Twitter, Instagram). I’m a bit worried about and sick of people moaning and putting themselves down so publicly. It’s really not nice. It’s also usually about really trivial things. If you’ve eaten something that makes you feel awful for breaking your diet, don’t share it with the world and give yourself a horrible time over it. Seriously. This is the kind of stuff that’s not alright. I discussed this with a close friend over the old Whatsapp this week, and we were both a bit shocked at the sort of stuff we’ve seen people posting.
Everyday (while eavesdropping or being OTT with my friends) I read, hear or personally say things like ‘Life is just SO hard’ or ‘Why isn’t my life more like…’ Most of the people who say these things (me included) really shouldn’t. I beat myself up all the time over things, even stuff like forgetting to turn the bathroom light off. Lame or what? I need to get over it, and so do lots of people. I worry that I should be trying to get a different job, or that I should move house, or that I should spend less, eat healthier, work more, actually do exercise rather than just plan to. All the normal things really. I feel like everyone I know is beating themselves up. Shall we all just stop it? I’m surrounded by people who give themselves a hard time and think they’re doing a bit shit at life, or could at least do better, when actually, is it really that bad? I don’t think it is.
Worried about your salary? Not doing as good as someone you follow on Instagram and have never met? Think you should own a house by now? Concerned you’ve made too many big mistakes and now you’ll never get your dream job or own three puppies and live in a mansion? I’m not about to advertise my life-improving services, don’t worry. Why don’t we just slowly ease away from these things and have a Kitkat. Or a Dairy Milk. Much better. Why don’t we think about these things instead:
-Being able to rely on your friends (or even just one friend, or your boyfriend/girlfriend)
-Being able to support yourself, even if just in one thing
-Having things to look forward to, no matter how small
-You’ve overcome something, and came out the other side stronger
-You can list three things you think you’re good at, no matter how stupid they are
-You know how to cheer yourself up and when you need it
If you can do a couple, or even better all of them, is your life really failing? It doesn’t take much when you put life in perspective, to realise you’re probably doing alright. Also that being rich and having a glossy lifestyle like a Kardshian clone won’t give you eternal happiness and a life of smiles and rainbows. I need to remember this the next time I have a ‘WAH EVERYTHING IS SO UNFAIR AND AGAINST ME’ moment. Which is quite a lot. Oops.
Surely having good friends, plans to be excited about, the satisfaction that you are earning money or trying to should be enough to not be self-hating all the time.
I recently got told at work by an older colleague, that the best life lesson she’s learnt in life is that self-worth counts for everything ( I was hungover and talking about getting under the desk at the time.) I can obviously see why she says this, although I know a lot of people have major demons in this area and don’t see much in themselves. Give it a go. Also, if you need eat 6000 calories, get drunk and buy new things to feel better, just do it. Screw it. What’s the worst that can happen, honestly?
My friend Hannah Gale who you will most likely have heard of if you read blogs wrote this yesterday, and I thought I should include it in this as I’ve had this scheduled a few days. Take note people: 27 signs you’re doing better at being an adult than you realise.
We can’t just go around claiming we are awful and feeling like we’ve messed up or gone the complete wrong way when there’s still plenty of time to turn things around or change things for the better. What’s actually going to happen if you don’t buy a house, earn 40k, and have two kids in the next year? NOTHING. Chill out. Everyone chill out.