So in the same week that Gwyneth Paltrow told us all to get our vaginas steamed (what even?) I’ve just been casually realising that pink iPhone emoji girl represents life pretty accurately. I can’t imagine Gwyn feels the same.
So just for fun and because I’m in a particularly weird mood, here are 5 times she just gets it so right:
1) This is Tuesday pink emoji girl. The worst day of the week because it just means nothing. You’re not halfway through, you’re not nearing the end, you aren’t on Monday when it’s fine to constantly moan. Tuesdays are hard and I generally would rather they just didn’t
2) Forgetting to put the rubbish out, forgetting to buy conditioner, forgetting why you just walked into the kitchen. Remembering you should have put the rubbish out, remembering half way through a hairwash you have no conditioner, remembering you were checking you had milk when already back upstairs and tomorrow will be cereal roulette. This is also me when I realise I’ve gone 600 calories over target on My Fitness Pal. Chocolate fingers happen.
3) Getting ready in the morning in a bit of a rush and doing shower, outfit, make-up and hair in about 20 minutes and looking actually really nice and strutting to the tube station like Beyonce. Also checking yourself in the office toilet mirror 4 hours later and only looking 15% dishevelled. Internal high five. SASS.
4) Taking credit for something or just being right when someone tried to say you were wrong. As if. Oh all that clean washing and the clean bathroom and amazing dinner and really productive day at work and really nice new boots? YEP ALL ME THANKS. Bow down.
5) OMG. It’s Sunday night again. Already. Pass the Pringles.