Reflection and rejection


So the first working week of 2015 has been a pretty reflective one. This may be partly due to the fact I have lost the ability to sleep so am awake at all times, thinking about EVERYTHING that has ever happened. This has been no bad thing though, as it’s produced posts about life, student memories and ridiculous holidays that have made me laugh to myself a lot, even if no one else did. Aside from all the memories and stupid/funny things I’ve done in the past, I’ve also realised that life compared to where I thought I would be now back in 2006, to where I actually am, is so much better. I don’t have four houses, a baby, a husband, a small urban farm in my garden and three dogs, but I am pretty bloody thankful about that. Imagine all the responsibilities. Urgh.

I’m not saying I don’t ever want to be responsible, but 25 (which I will be turning in 5 months) felt so much more adult back then than the reality is. I would love to tipex out a few dodgy things that happened around 2008, skip over a few months post-uni and erase a fair few hangovers, but these things have probably really helped shape me somehow. I imagine so anyway, I’m not a great life analyst. A hangover that doesn’t kill you, can only make you stronger. Words to live by.

So after all the reflection and realising how lovely, hilarious, fortunate and generally happy my life has been, I thought about things I don’t want to happen. This is what happens when you sleep badly apparently, ALL of the thoughts. 2015 is shaping up to be a good year so far and a good year I would like it to end as too.

I am rejecting anyone and any ludicrous person that makes me question why we are friends. I cut down my friends massively a few years back, because I think it’s healthy to have a good cull every now and then. Why be friends with people you don’t really like? What even is that? Frenemies are for Kim Kardashian and ruthless business people. Let’s all try and actually be fond of our friends this year.

I am also rejecting the idea of having nothing to look forward to. When I got back from a festival in Croatia last year I felt all manner of doom and gloom (probably a bit because I had the mother of all colds) and had this feeling of having absolutely nothing to look forward to. This spiralled with some bad news within my family and resulted in a stressful and hectic end to 2014. Well, I have decided there is ALWAYS something to look forward to from now on. I am a planner, which helps, but even little things, like having steak for dinner tonight, going to the dermatologist next week to finally get this weird thing on my foot fixed, new Broadchurch episode on Monday and a friend’s birthday in two weeks. Looking forward to them all. Life is good etc etc.

Thirdly, I absolutely reject basing my life on other peoples. I definitely don’t suffer from life-envy as much as some people might, but of course I get it. I have loads of amazing friends with really cool lives so obviously it’s going to happen, but it will not be allowed to stress and freak me out again. Tried that, didn’t like it, wasn’t great. REJECTED. Your life on Instagram probably looks fabulous, but I am going to a cereal cafe at the weekend, so there. My life is alright. I will continue obsessing over your dinners, new coats and amazing hair from afar though, because I am still human and obsessed by Instagram.

So that’s basically Friday’s thoughts thrown down into this, hopefully, readable piece of internet.

My next little chunk of 2015, stuck at home feeling gross with a kidney infection (let the good times roll), is focusing on these definitely not rejected things:


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