18 thoughts and feelings of people who use the District Line

1- You arrive at work angry and void of any hope or cheerfulness at least three times a week.

2- Earls Court isn’t just a place to you, it’s a circle of strange, confused Hell where nothing makes sense and you have to take risks to get where you want to go in life.

3- You associate the colour green with pain and suffering.

4- Any day with less than 9 signal failures is a victory.

5- Manically laughing as you squeeze your body, bag and soul on the tube at Fulham Broadway in the morning is completely reasonable behaviour.

6- You’ve suffered heat stroke and noticed your limbs physically melting on a city bound service in the summer.

7- You recognise one of life’s big questions as ‘Why don’t they use the big, airy trains to go to the city where more people travel? Not even cattle are transported like this.’

8- You use the fleeting moment signal returns at Sloane Square to tweet the District Line a sarcastic comment like ‘well done guys, an hour to go 8 stops. Bravo.’

9- You ask yourself time and time again… What is the point of Cannon Street?

10- The thought of travelling from Wimbledon to Upminster leaves you feeling like you could vomit at any given moment.

11- ‘This train is now terminating at…’ are words that remind you that life is unfair, unjust and needs to be re-evaluated.

12- You have a support group on Whatsapp with friends that also use the District Line, because sometimes you just need to get it all out.

13- Although you see it time and time again, you can’t get over how full the train can be at Southfields a mere three stops in.

14- Seeing a near empty train roll into Earls Court from Richmond or Ealing Broadway inspires you to start looking at new flats. You could find somewhere nice to live near Ealing Common right?

15- You’ve learnt the hard way that good service actually means a barely acceptable service.

16- Minor delays and severe delays may as well be a reminder to bring your sleeping bag, because let’s face it, you’re going nowhere.

17- Being late for everything has become a part of your life.

18- You realise you’ve forgotten the person you were before you began suffering with PTDLD- Post-traumatic District Line Disorder.

You should also take a look at @DistrictLame on Twitter, for obvious reasons

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